OH, HEY HERMIONE*

by Sarah Singleton


Last spring, I was inspired by a field mouse - and a subsequent recommendation - to get a cat. I wasn't sure about it at first. For the last 18 years, I had been living free as a bird, with no pets whatsoever. I delighted in borrowing friends' dogs, dressing them up and taking them for tours around DC. One of my closest friends actually scoured my new apartment in Maryland for a Yorkshire Terrier, having assumed from my Facebook posts that I actually owned a dog. Nope. Just smitten with my roommate's dog, "Olive", in my previous home.

I don't know that I can be considered exclusively a dog person or a cat person. It depends on the personality of each individual one. Having hemmed and hawed over the mouse problem, my cat hunting began. My online search took several days, but I found it difficult to form a bond with a cyber cat. Upon my first trip to PetSmart, however, I immediately liked the very first cat I saw. 

The cage tag red "Hermosa, 1 year old, female."  HER-mo-sa? Uhh... what? Should have been paying more attention in Spanish class, Sr. Goodman. Aahh it means "beautiful", said Google. I knew it would be difficult for most people to pronounce, and I quickly tired of it. I toyed with "Hello Kitty", as I'd always had a thing for the little adorable graphic. However, I soon remembered Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter books. Her-my-oh-knee. What a beautiful name, that has since become famous! Hermione. I still let kids call her Hello Kitty, because it's just easier for them to say. 

Closing this one with an excerpt from one of the best poetry books ever, I Could Pee on This, and a selfie of my dear Hermione.

This is my chair

This is my chair

This is my couch

That is my bed

There is my chaise

There is my settee

Those are my footstools

Those are my rugs

Everywhere is my place to sleep 

Perhaps you should just get a hotel room

 Hermione, posing in one of her many selfies.

Hermione, posing in one of her many selfies.

I LIck YOUR NOSE

I lick your nose

I lick your nose again

I drag my claws down your eyelids

Oh, you’re up? Feed me

* IN LOVING MEMORY OF
BEHEMOTH J. HUDNALL